Or Keir Dullea's porn stash in spaaaaaaaace!!!! I'd heard of this series, but never seen any of the episodes until I discovered that it had its own Roku channel. The series was created by Harlan Ellison, but because he was so dissatisfied by what the producers did to his concept, he refused to have his name listed in the credits, and instead had them use the name "Cordwainer Bird" (and, yes, he does intend the obscene meaning of the word "bird). The premise is that several hundred years in the future, Earth is dying, so humanity constructs a giant space ark, filled not only with plants and animals from Earth, but people from various societies. Each society is given their own level on the ark, and completely sealed off from other societies. Keir Dullea, and his porn stash, are part of an Amish-style community. Keir wants to marry a woman named Rachel (played by Gay Rowan, an actress I've never heard of), but is forbidden to do so by one of the elders pretending to be the computer (which they call "The Creator" and don't understand to be a computer). Keir gets butthurt by this, raises a stink, and then escapes torch bearing villagers via a passage shown to him by some cranky old guy. At the end of the passage, Kier finds a computer that explains things to him, and tells him that the ark is on course to crash into a star at some point in the future. Think of it as a cross between Silent Running and Witness starring Harrison Ford, and you'll have some idea of the plot. The effects, despite having been done by Douglas Trumbull (who was responsible for 2001, are Tom Baker-era Doctor Who at best. Once Kier finds out what's going on, he returns to the village, attempts to confront Grandpa Simpson the village leader about their situation, get's locked up, and is freed by his rival Garth (Party on, Garth!). Keir then gets Rachel to follow him to the bridge of the ship. They're pursued by a butthurt Garth, but once he catches up to them, decides to throw his lot in with them because of "reasons." The three of them find the bridge and stare out at the wonder of the giant space ark (no giant space goat in sight, BTW), and thus endeth the first episode.
The second episode has them going to the medical center, because reasons, and on their way there, they're attacked by retarded mutants. Because reasons. Rachel and Kier are separated from Garth by the mutards, but manage to make it into the medical center, where the computer tells them to thaw out a communications engineer who has been cryogenically frozen. Because reasons. Unbeknownst to them, the communications engineer has some kind disease and will die if he's left wandering around for more than two hours. So, instead of trying to thaw out the rest of the crew that's been frozen (and let me just say that Kier and Rachel are remarkably able to grasp so complex a ship despite having been raised in conditions akin to that of the Amish), they try to find the engineer's wife. Instead of finding her, they find a video recording she left, explaining that she couldn't be frozen because reasons. So Rachel and Kier help the engineer re-freeze himself, then capture the leader of the mutards, while freeing Garth, and after convincing the mutard leader that they mean the mutards no harm, they take them to a dome the engineer told them about, where the mutards can live their lives in peace. There's no discussion about thawing out the rest of the crew, or going back to the bridge to try and change the ship's course, merely that they've got to find this thing that the engineer told them about, and that Garth should subject himself to watching Kier and Rachel be happy together. John Colicos, AKA Kor, makes an appearance in a later episode, according to IMDB, but I'm not sure its worth sticking with the series long enough to see him. Walter Koenig also shows up in some later episodes, but we're hitting the "down the road, not across the street" debate at about this point.
I got it on DVD when it came out last yearish. It is as I remember it from first run - fun, ambitious, but terrible. Much like other 70s TV series, only with bad video chroma-key effects. Yet I still have a certain affection for it.
I remember liking it less than Land of the Lost. Part of that was just disappointment at how poorly the show was done. There was a damn good idea at the core, but the execution was crap.
Okay, another channel on Roku is called "Cape Television," and its programming consists of old superhero serials, movies, and TV shows. One of which is the original Columbia Pictures The Phantom, based on the comic strip. Despite the fact that its set in Africa, but has white actors dressed as Native Americans, and has to conform to other conventions of 1940s era serials, its waaaaaay better than The Starlost.
