Being friends with a married woman: Can it be done?

I'd say be careful but the situation can work out, depending on how adult eferyone can be. But there's no telling agout that from this angle.

Agout?

Dammit, put your eyeballs back in the jar of blue liquid, and rest.
You'll reopen your stitches!

Intriguing. I've only read the first page, but it is running completely different from what I'd expected.

I have a hot, cool married friend. Met her in the MBA program, before she was even engaged, but had been living with her "boyfriend". I was able to grok that she wasn't "in play" and still be good friends with her. Met the "boyfriend" fairly early on and he's a great, cool, interesting guy. He invited me out to a sales dinner when he was on the Island and we shared a love of a good martini, so when I was back in Portland we'd all get together for martini nights.

I got invited to their wedding and I chat with her via e-mail all the time. When I'm in Portland we often go out for cocktails--with or without hubby.

It's actually useful to be out with a hot, married woman. There's no pressure on to "seal the deal", so you can just focus on practicing your flirting. And the other girls in the bar see you out, having a good time with an interesting, attractive woman, and they decide they are interested in you. It's a bit like taking a decoy with you duck hunting.

I'll have to read the rest of the thread later and see how far off base my take on this was.

Does she swallow?

It's important!

As you are evidentally jonesing for this chick, I'd bow out.

Unless, of course, she has equally interesting, cute, available friends that she feels the need to hook you up with.

I've noticed girls that are interested in you but can't act on that (for whatever reason) often want to hook you up with their friends in order to get some vicarious gratification. Girls are weird that way.

Ruin her.

I find her attractive, as I find many women. I am not 'jonesing' for her, nor am I on the verge of leaping on top of her in a moment of weakness. Do y'all really think I'm so unable to control myself?

That's actually my plan, on top of being friends with her.

I know I am!

After checking, the rule on this is that if you have to ask whether it's ethically ok, then no, it's not ok.

If you have to ask yourself if it's ok, then it probably isn't.

My best friend is married.

If you can't make it work, you probably aren't man enough.

My best friend is married.

If you can't make it work, you probably aren't man enough.

The reason I'm asking is because I hadn't heard this rule before last week, and wanted to get some opinions.

Depends on whether or not you have control over yourself.

Oh for fuck's sake Chewie! Haven't you ever seen an Alfred Hitchcock movie? I'd suggest Strangers on a Train for a start.

Damn you Sokar! The set up is so easy it's nearly impossible to pick only one response.

I could only narrow it down to these eight choices:

• To be fair, your best friend is imaginary
• Actormike is married?
• If you can make it work you aren't man enough
• Aw, your wife is your best friend
• Just how aesthetically challenged is your best friend?
• Yeah but you're gay
• What, you're too good to throw a hump into your best friend? Some friend.
• Never knew you were a Prufrock dual

^ See? Evil!

Actually, having had time to think on it:

Go for it, Chewie. It could be exciting.

You're an open gay, what's to worry about?

Having had a lot of female friends over the years, it can be done, but it's always tricky. And how jealous the friend's spouse is depends on the state of the marriage/his sanity and so on and you can't really know that.

At minimum, tread lightly.

And her sanity, who knows if you'll be her leverage in a jealousy game?

I was friends with a married woman once.
No wait - twice.

Sorry, Chewie, but I'm going with the doubters here. She's personally attractive to you for a variety of reasons and there are a lot of pitfalls. Sure, be friends with her but be on constant guard of your feelings. Being honest with yourself is very difficult.

I'm also thinking that the other relationship you've mentioned should take your mind off this one. It's a weird sort of test, though. If you do get serious and your interest in the married woman falls off then you probably need to re-examine all your feelings about her. Also, if your new girlfriend is leery of you being "just friends" with someone else, then you probably need to back way off, too.

Just watch out...

You know, I really should "embrace" that. If girls thought I was gay, I'd be a nonthreatening guy they could go out with and have a good time. They could let their guard down and have a few more drinks than they normally would because I wasn't interested in them. Then, when they're good and likkerd up they can try to "straighten me out."

Unless, deep down they find what you ghey mugs do is disgusting. And wouldn't touch your pecker with oven mitts on.

OOH! And as an added plus, if I'm "gay", they I can go straight for teh buttsecks. "What? Oh. Sorry. Force of habit."