Random Star Wars discussion

How Fresh-Out-of-College DIYers Built the Star Wars Lightsaber of Your Dreams

Someone 3D Printed A Millennium Falcon Wireless Mouse And Now I Want One

Leia was really the expected choice to be tortured in Cloud City.

Obviously from a tropey point of view, Han is the preferred victim. He's Rugged and Manly and torture means suffering more consequences for his decision to stay with the rebels rather than pay off Jabba. And then the woman tends the wounded man afterwards.

But Darth Vader has reason to have it in for Leia after she escaped him and took the data with her that led to the loss of the Death Star. And he's tortured her before, so he knows she can take a lot of pain. And Fett has dibs on Han; if Han doesn't make it, the Empire will be expected to compensate him. The Emperor won't like surprise charges taken out of the quarterly budget. Vader keeps killing enough trained officers as it is.

Do you think there's a line item in the military budget for training new officers to replace the ones Palpatine's right-hand man kills?

https://bsky.app/profile/richardlittler.bsky.social/post/3l3iwjgdxv52x

OMG if they did that with the brand I would fucking pay the extra money. I am not even a true fan of star wars, but I love me some Lando. The only black man in the galaxy, and he is smooth as fuck. He had the coolest fucking sky city. Nothging like that scruffy nerf herder everyone else liked, or the boy. I bet Lando could have gotten Luke and R2 to the rebel aliance without fucking up and getting caught.

Rumors are that the Rey movie is getting cancelled.

Okay.

When even Giant Freakin Robot points out that these are just rumors, I think that tells one all one needs to know. Let me know when a reputable site like Variety, Hollywood Reporter or Deadline has a report suggesting the film has been cancelled.

https://www.giantfreakinrobot.com/ent/star-wars-rey-movie-hold.html

Hate-Tube- Rey threatens your pee-pee.

FF- But Leia didn't threaten my pee-pee.

Hate-Tube- That's different, because reasons.

FF- Oh, okay, then I buy right in.

(FF)
BAD WRITING!!!!!!!

Also, this:

https://screenrant.com/star-wars-rey-new-jedi-order-movie-not-canceled-or-delayed/

The Rey Movie Has Lost Its Writer (Again)

How do you make a Princess Leia?
Put Han in a Speedo.

INT. JEDI TEMPLE. ADORABLE, ACCEPTABLY DIVERSE YOUNGLINGS AND PADAWANS AND STUFF ARE GAMBOLING AROUND AND PRACTICING LIGHTSABERS. REY ENTERS THE ROOM, LOOKING AROUND AT HER CHARGES. SHE SEES A YOUNG GIRL LOOKING DOWNCAST AT A PILE OF PEBBLES AND GOES OVER TO HER, PREPARING TO DELIVER A BLAND YET HEARTWARMING SPEECH.

REY

Hey there. Chonka-lifting practice giving you problems again?

SHASTA CUTIEPIE

It's so hard, miz Skywalker. Sometimes I can see the rock in my mind but I can't touch it!

REY

Chin up and don't let it get you down. Keep at it. If you believe and work hard you can grow up to be anything you want to be.

THE GIRL SNIFFS AND SMILES. A SCUFFLE RISES AS A BOY RUSHES IN FROM OUTSIDE. THE CROWD PARTS AS HE RUNS TO REY.

AMAKID T'VOL'KA

Oh miz Rey, miz Rey, it's terrible! The Goolyguns that have actually been off in the Outer Rim being vaguely looming threats all this time but were never important enough to be mentioned in any movies found Palpatine's *other* secret stash of Super and Ultra Star Destroyers! They've declared war on the New Republic and they're advancing on Guwannahey right now!

REY STRAIGHTENS UP. ZOOM IN ON HER HARDENED EXPRESSION.

REY

Looks like it's time . . . for some more star wars.

SMASH CUT TO TITLES.



Hire me Disney, I'm not scared of canon or nerds, I'll work for a flat $200k, and I won't complain when you inevitably trash my script for yet another total rewrite three weeks later.

needs more cowbell.

Well, a Jedi temple could have a junior choir I suppose . . .