It doesn't get easier, it's hard but worth it.

Discussion in 'The Green Room' started by ed629, Feb 24, 2023.

  1. ed629

    ed629 Morally Inept Banned

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    Was at work today, and got a call from my mom. My little buddy (Chihuahua) had to go in to an emergency visit to the vet. He pretty has been staying with her for the last three years. She lives about 1/2 mile out of the way to home. I left work early, and after talking to the vet on the way there, I'm not going in tomorrow. My sister went with my mom to take him to the vet and she went back with her when I got there.

    He has a tumor that is completely blocking his urinary track. X-rays and ultrasound show that me has a large tumor around his urinary in the pelvic region. He urinated fine Tuesday, and yesterday. But he stopped last night and today wasn't going. The scans were showing his bladder was distended. As in it was placing pressure on his prostate, kidneys, intestines. He had a catheter placed to drain his bladder.

    The prognosis is that a permanent catheter will give him a month, maybe two at most. And would need to be drained every day. Surgery isn't an option. If it is cancer, it's already spread through his body. Chemo could help, but it would only prolong the invetitable and the quality of life would be poor. He was given some anti inflammatory medication, by even that would only help for a week or two.

    We took him out for a while tonight. He loves going out to places where we can sit out, chill out and give him bits of food. If the medication doesn't help him go by morning, for his sake, it's best to let him go. If he can go, a week isn't beneficial for him and would only be selfish for us. My sister and mom love my little buddy just as much or more than I do. They were both really upset while the vet was going over options with us.

    If he's not better by tomorrow morning...

    If he is somewhat better, were going to take him for a last day trip on Sunday. Tomorrow he'll get pampered and spoiled. Monday will, well yeah, don't want to think about it

    From a trip last year, he was loving life.

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  2. Nova

    Nova livin on the edge of the ledge Writer

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    4.jpg All my sympathies. We had to go through this with our senior Yorkie 3 months ago.
    We'd gotten her, sort of second hand, from what we were given to understand was a hard life. The vet estimated at the time that she was probably around 12, but yorkies can be kinda hard to guess because they are notorious for teeth issues even when well cared for and teeth are a big art of how the estimate accordingly. ANYway she eventually developed a sort of COPD type condition but it was well controlled with medication and she was with us almost five and a half years.

    Last fall she developed some swelling on her cheek and the dentist first thought it was an abscess related to one of her remaining teeth, but after pulling the tooth and treating with antibiotics it not only didn't go away but opened a wound on her face that wouldn't shrink. A biopsy revealed that it was actually a benign tumor called a granular mass tumor which are apparently exceedingly rare(neither the vet nor the oncologist that tested the sample had ever seen one in person.

    In any case, we began to notice within a week of finding this out that her mind was going. She'd walk up to a wall and just stop as if she didn't know what to do next, and other similar "senile" behavior. She stopped eating or using her pads. The baby we loved wasn't really there anymore so we choose not to watch her deteriorate.

    Single hardest thing I've ever done and I can't even think of what would be comparable to put in second place.

    Primrose was one of a kind in our hearts.
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  3. ed629

    ed629 Morally Inept Banned

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    The last few two days have been bittersweet. We took him on a day trip yesterday, and on another one today. He loves his trips, day trips, vacation trips, to the local brewery.

    Looking back at pictures of him, the happiest and most relaxed he looks are vacation trips. The day before we'd leave for a vacation trip he would start to get excited, not wanting to miss a moment, then the day of the trip he would run out to the car and start to bark and hop around.

    We had another vacation trip planned for the beginning of May. Right now we're not even sure if we want to take it.

    Tomorrow morning.. is going to be hard. Planning on taking him on one last trip in the morning, about 2-3 hours round trip. Just want to give him one last happy moment.
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  4. ed629

    ed629 Morally Inept Banned

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    IMG_20230226_152712~2.jpg
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  5. ed629

    ed629 Morally Inept Banned

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    The worst part about all this, I feel like I failed him. I know I didn't, but that's how I feel
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  6. ed629

    ed629 Morally Inept Banned

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  7. Diacanu

    Diacanu Comicmike. Writer

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    Been on that ride, got that t-shirt.
    :sigh:
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  8. Nova

    Nova livin on the edge of the ledge Writer

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    Marie had the exact same feelings about Prim. Emotionally certain she should have done something different/better
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  9. Bickendan

    Bickendan Custom Title Administrator Faceless Mook Writer

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  10. Tuckerfan

    Tuckerfan BMF

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    I understand your pain all too well, it's one of the worst things about having a pet. Honestly, the only pet-related pain I've found that's worse is when you have two that are best buds and one of them dies. Because the surviving one is in just as much pain as you are, but there's no way you can make them understand what's happened. All you can do is watch them wander around, calling for their friend who can no longer answer, and curl up in spots that were their friend's favorite, hoping that they'll come back. It rips your heart out like nothing else.
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  11. ed629

    ed629 Morally Inept Banned

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    My other two Chihuahuas passed at the end of August and September of 2013. When the first one passed, the second one did that. He would look for him, especially at night. He would get stuck behind furniture or just get lost. I know he died of a broken heart
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  12. Tuckerfan

    Tuckerfan BMF

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    Yeah, man. That's the shit that really gets ya. You want to tell them that if you could, you'd bring their friend back, but you can't, and they have no way of understanding what you're saying. Even if you can't make the pain go away by explaining things to them, that would be so, so, so much better than the fact that you can't even tell them you understand why they're so upset.
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  13. ed629

    ed629 Morally Inept Banned

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    It's over.

    Before though, took him on a last trip to a park he enjoyed. It's about 42 miles from where I live. He's been there several times. There's a pond that's fed by a natural spring. There's fish in there you can feed, along ducks. He didn't care for the fish or ducks, but loved walking around and taking in the scents.

    He had arthritis in his back, it started being noticable about 7-8 months ago. He was having trouble standing and walking more than a few minutes. We took him in to the vet, they gave him some medication. It helped some, but not much. My sister found some treats with supplements, with a month he was walking again, within three months he was walking 1/4 mile or so. Today he walked for an hour at the park, that's the most he's walked in over a year.

    He also would start doing little whelping/whining noises of I wasn't driving fast enough for him when taking him on drives or trips. Usually below 35-40mph. So today being the last trip, we were on a long straight highway. Gave him one last fast ride. A soon as he felt the car accelerate he sat up in his seat and got a huge grin.

    The hardest part is over. Part of me feels like I betrayed him. But there's also a huge sense of relief in knowing that he won't be suffering and that the waiting and feeling of dread is gone. When he went, I was holding his head in my hands and he was looking at me. I saw him go in his eyes, one moment he was there and then he was gone. But I also saw relief in his eyes.

    Afterwards took him to get cremated. The place was amazing. The girl (Chante) met us at the door. She took us to a private room, took our information, Merlin's information. We took him to the vet in his favorite blankets. And to the cremation service in his favorite blankets. We placed him in a basket with pillows and blankets with his favorite blankets. They're going to wash them and return them to us. Their temporary container is a tin container with a bronze and gold trim.

    I'm going to miss him. Very much.

    Here's him at the park.

    IMG_20230227_084458~2.jpg

    Even in his last moments, he tried to comfort us.

    I'm so thankful we got to give him a "bucket list" in the last few days. Two day trips on Saturday and Sunday, and two trips that were a couple of hours Friday and today.

    On Friday we took him to a brewery that had outdoor seating. He loved sitting there wrapped up like a little burrito. He had wings, shepherd pie, fries. We stayed there a couple hours letting him enjoy the time with us.

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    On Saturday we took him to Blue Ridge. He got so much attention. We couldn't go more than twenty feet without someone commenting on how cute or adorable he was. He normally didn't like strangers, but he let people approach him without growling or barking at them. He got to eat wings, fries, burger, fish, Cuban sandwich. He also was able to walk quite a bit.

    IMG_20230225_131448.jpg

    On Sunday we went to Helen in Georgia, we had drinks and appetizers at the German Hofbrau restaurant, he got to eat chicken from the wings we ordered and she of the fries. Then we went to another restaurants and he got more wings, burger, fries,

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    Almost 600 miles, and around $1200 for everything to give him an extra weekend. I got a bargain. I just hope I gave him a good life. And wish I could tell him how much he meant to me. I hope he knew..


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    Right before... With his favorite stuffed toy.
    Last edited: Feb 27, 2023
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  14. Bickendan

    Bickendan Custom Title Administrator Faceless Mook Writer

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    Fucking hits in the feels, man.

    He knew. He knew what he meant to you.
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  15. Uncle Albert

    Uncle Albert Part beard. Part machine.

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    Condolences, man. I mean that. My last chihuahua looked very much like that one, and we took that last ride 9 years ago.
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  16. ed629

    ed629 Morally Inept Banned

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    When we took him to be cremated, we had him wrapped in his two favorite blankets. You can make out one of them in the above pic. The girl at the cremation place told us that if we left him with his blankets she would wash and fold them before returning him. We were able to pick him up the next day, and she did wash and fold his blankets. And not only did she wash and fold them, she also tied them up with ribbon, and had a card attached to the blankets with his name on the card, and placed them in a very nice bag, the kind you get at boutique shops. I didn't expect that, it was a very nice and unexpected touch.

    I miss him.
    Last edited: Mar 12, 2023
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  17. Bickendan

    Bickendan Custom Title Administrator Faceless Mook Writer

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    Just went with my parents to put down their cat who had adopted us back in 2008.
    Maxwell got suddenly ill a few days ago, and stayed last night at the veterinary hospital. He was responding to the treatment, but at just under 17, his quality of life wasn't going to improve.

    No mental preparation or intellectual acceptance can prepare for the emotional hardship. I was crying as he went to sleep, still am, kinda, but the back of my mouth was aching to keep myself from sobbing.

    Rest well, Maxwell, little buddy. :weep:
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