Michael Phelps' girlfriend comes out as a transsexual

Ayo, I'm new to the forums (I saw it on taptalk like twenty minutes ago) and I more less wanted to discuss this topic without getting suspended/banned. After reading through this I do believe this is an appropriate discussion for this particular forum.

For those of you who don't know, Michael Phelps, an athlete, recently got a stunning surprise. His girlfriend came out as a transgender. Keep in mind this is after they've done the nasty/have been intimate.

When I first caught wind of this issue I thought that this would be one of those things where everyone simply shakes their heads and take pity on the dude. I was wrong. Turns out there's controversy with regard to Phelps (theoretically) breaking up with his self proclaimed girlfriend. Apparently if he "truly loved her" he would be able to accept her for who she truly is. Keep in mind he is heterosexual.

Personally, I believe that if a heterosexual is expected to respect other sexualities, other sexualities should be expected to respect heterosexuals. Tricking someone who is heterosexual into being intimate with you (a transgender) is just plain wrong IMO.

What say you?

I don't closely follow such things, so this is news to me. But based on the fact that they've done the nasty as you say, am I right to assume that she has completed transition, has had the surgery, etc.? I mean maybe he was stoned and didn't notice, but that's not how it went down in the Crying Game.

As for the basic question, yeah, I'd say it's fairly clear that Michael Phelps doesn't love her. It's not unusual to think you love somebody, then finding out a significant thing about them that you hadn't realized causes you to reconsider. That's not just an issue of gender and attraction.

This is an odd story. I keep seeing references that suggest she's claiming to be his girlfriend but might not be. Attention seeker? Stalker?

I know nothing about this, but I wish to put forth a parallel question: what if they found out they were siblings?

Today is Transgender Day of Remembrance.

Links?

Also, welcome to the board.

I think you are a dl.

I can't really comment on the issue with Phelps, because the whole thing feels off, like it's nothing more than infotainment fodder, but I can talk about the issue in general.

I do understand why someone who is transgender would be reticent to explain their past history for several reasons. Primarily, they are not that person anymore, at least not in that way. They have managed to align what's in their brain with the rest of their physical body, and so now they are simply that which they have always been on the outside as well as the inside. The second line of reasoning probably has more to do with fear, and the notion that if they are found out, they will be harassed, beaten, or even killed because they might not be considered "natural" or "normal" in the eyes of others. So there is a significant trust issue at the heart of the second line of reasoning.

I can't really blame a transgender person for hiding the truth, while I also can't blame their partner(s) for being surprised or upset. It really does come down to trust, and I believe that if one is transgender, then that needs to come out before intimate relationships make things more difficult for all involved. I'm fairly certain most transgender individuals do their best not to find themselves in that situation in the first place, but not everyone thinks ahead before acting on an impulse.

Of course, at the same time, someone who discovers their partner was transgender needs to react in a civil manner. That they were once a different gender doesn't mean they're less than human, or worthy of abuse and hate. For myself, it would not bother me to find out a significant other was transgender, but I would feel hurt if I didn't find out until much later in life, as I would hope my partner would have loved me and trusted me enough to impart such an important, life-changing aspect of their life, even if it was no longer relevant.

All of what @John just said, but adding this:

This does not put any obligation on a person to continue an intimate relationship with their partner. They are not evil if that bothers them; these things just are what they are. It wouldn't bother me, but if it bothers you, well, there are limits to how much you can adapt your intimate preferences to your moral judgements yb force of will alone.

Ok, I will taste it. So why should you pity the dude for having fun with someone? It is not like he could tell if the story is true. He had a good time, enough to call her a girlfriend I assume. Really I do not keep up on him.

Keep in mind the surgery is so good his dick cannot taste the difference. It wasn't like it was so different that he jumped up and knew it. unless your purpose for fucking and flirting is to pop out a child it is the same thing with a post op and with a woman for the man.

Sort of like how you are trying to trick us into believing you just happened to come in with a troll in hand? I am pretending you are here to have an actual discussion, so let us see how long before you drop that act. Have fun discussing things. I don't play let's pretend we are not here to fuck with the typing turds who wander by like yourself. Oh and yes I did just insult you, and no I do not give a fuck that you think you wrote that well enough to not be insulting to others trolly boy.

I say it is probably about a 5 on the troll meter. You could have scored higher if you slipped in something like chicks with dicks.

I don't think Michael Phelps is going through anything as devastating as what linebacker Manti Te'o went through at Notre Dame when his girlfriend Lennay Kekua died of lukemia.

There is nothing to adapt. Everyone disconnects the past at some point, even you. When a steak comes to the table most people do not think of the slaughtering process. It is just really stupid to get sick over some steak you enjoyed because you thought of how it got there. In the case of a post op transexual there is just simply no penis there anymore, and there can be a well defined vagina. What is the difference to you that something else was there that is no longer there?

I agree completely. A reaction of breaking up, no more sex and such is perfectly acceptable under the circumstances. When I say react in a civil manner, I'm talking about not braining them to death or something like that.

Well, what would you do if you found out your girlfriend never existed, all while your entire school was erecting tributes to her passing because the non-existent girlfriend's made-up battle had inspired your Heisman trophy run? And then you end up getting mocked on Saturday Night Live as one of the stupidest people on the planet?

True. Also, there's the holocaust. That was way worse too.

I'm no vegetarian, but some people are bothered by the idea of slaughtering animals, and they should be free to choose their meals accordingly. And switching from one body to another is going to be an important part of who a person is. Most of the experiences that shape us don't leave obvious physical traces.

On this we agree.

Um, his girlfriend didn't actually die of leukemia. In fact, Manti was apparently among the last to realize that she never existed. She was was just some man or woman that was posting pictures from some other unsuspecting girl's Facebook page and making up shit about being in a car wreck, having leukemia, etc. The relationship went on for a year or more, and kept on going even after the fake had "died", and at some point in the uncovering to the whole mess, Manti was still pining for his dead love as the reporters were patiently trying to explain that the woman he loved had never actually existed. He was the world's biggest sucker. That didn't seem to penetrate, so SNL did a very funny sketch of the dumbest human on the planet, Manti Te'o.

ETA: I don't mean for my tone to imply that you should know who Manti Te'o is. He was only famous for his 15 minutes a few years ago for showing America that they had seriously, seriously overestimated the intelligence of college linebackers.

Yeah, but if it were true phelps did like her for a time. That personality remains constant while the world reacts differently. Absolutely nothing changed on the girlfriend from the moment he thought she was a girl and when he knew she had been a guy. All that reaction is a creation of the mind and some dumb shit you learned and I guess have not figured out how the mind works. Oh, and todays operations are not going to leave a scar where you can see it. As long as she has the female mannerisms down you would not know a tranny from someone born with the equipment.

So's love. Oh, and time and space, btw.

Yeah, again, not relevant.

Sorry guys, I'm in highschool so I had some homework to do. I'll try to respond to every post! ^_^)/


And if you keep reading this is my sig.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/art...le-describes-amazing-sex-Olympic-swimmer.html

The daily fail says she was born intersex.

High school kids still use message boards these days?

The last teens I remember registering here were about eight years ago. On the other hand, the maturity level at times is that of middle school.

Hope ya stick around, though. This is a great thread.

Paging @Nova for comments!

Michael Phelps was told today that his girlfriend wasn't born with a vagina.

Phelps responded: "She has a vagina?"

http://www.washingtonpost.com/news/...d-no-i-dont-have-any-pictures-of-us-together/

So... yeah. Going with attention seeker.

So it wouldn't have been safe to make that assumption at all.

Honestly, given that these "journalists" don't do any research, shouldn't they at least learn basic writing skills?

Her website is... oddly entertaining. link from wapo (safe for work).

First things first: pretty much every factual assertion here that can be checked on seems to be incorrect.

a. not his girlfriend
b. not transgender
c. quite possibly a glory hound or stalker

Anc has already linked the WaPo story with the details. They may well have interacted, but there's no proof (or even claim of) intercourse, and the interaction does not seem to have progressed to "girlfriend. Also, Phelps is unavailable for comment.

Beyond that, Intersex is a different sort of thing than transgender as the latter term is typically defined or commonly understood (and those are not even the same as each other. Rather than write up a long lesson, I'll simply attach an image I made to the end of this post which illustrates the relationship among various trans definitions.

Now with THAT said...

What every one of us deserves and what none of us can have as long as attitudes such as in the OP exist. The old, cliched word is "passing" but that both implies a test to pass, and also implies an effort to deceive even if on a temporary basis. A better word is "blend" which is what pretty much any transsexual dreams of - just to be another everyday unremarkable woman (or man, if F2M). Of course in an ideal culture, it would be no more remarkable to be transsexual than to, for example, wear glasses. In that world blending wouldn't matter, in ours it does and yet - the more one blends, the more one washes her hands of the less fortunate trans woman who simply CAN'T. And the culture never changes if the pretty ones fade away and only the unattractive are left as "clownish" examples.

Ironically,the more you blend in, the more compelling the moral obligation to call attention to one's self. Not to placate the haters but to come to the aid of the "ugly ones"

Of course the pretty one is often beaten or killed for her "trickery" if she presumes to take advantage of her good fortune and lead a normal life, as you alluded to....

Not only the obvious physical danger but danger to one's whole existance. In most o the country, you can be fired, evicted, and legally refused service for being trans. In one moment of honesty, to the wrong person (and most of those you interact with are the "wrong person" because even the otherwise respectful will almost certainly accidentally out you at some point) and your whole life literally falls apart.

We can't even trust our families. I just read about a trans woman who was de-transitioned after her sudden death and buried as a man. Made me sick to my stomach with anger.

There's a lot of debate, even among post-op transwomen, about whether or not to disclose. My position i that you don't put your whole world on the line if it's casual sex. EVERY act of casual sex involves considerable risk for both parties.

However, if there's any possibility of ongoing relationship, then safety - not ethics, because I AM a woman (al the more so post-op for the purposes of intimacy) - but SAFETY demands disclosure.

That's what it comes down to and why it's not right o insist on disclosure prior to intimacy. A LOT of people get intimate with someone before they develop that deep level of trust.