Do you drive a Tesla? If so, go fuck yourself.

Tesla conducting more layoffs, including entire Supercharger team

Everybody: The best thing in our favor is the supercharger, Mr. Musk. Wherever we have to cut, don't cut the supercharger.

Elon: Hey, you know what the best way for us to succeed in a way that makes me look smarter than everyone else would be?

Cutting the Supercharger team seems insane.

So when Tesla goes bankrupt, how will the cars start?

(Sort of like software that has to have an internet connection to function).

Not really a concern because there won't be a licensed repair person to fix the problems so most of them will be stuck in the driveway anyways. Then their batteries will burst into flames destroying the house and burning the owners up for their poor cult decision maki9ng skills.

Burning alive for your fucked up cult leader and his crazy ideas is pretty much a win for the members of the cult of elon. It means you go to Tesla heaven. It is right next to branch dividian heaven. It is just adjacent to Hale Bop Nike heaven and Jonestown purple arsenic drank heaven.

Heard a great description of Elmo today:

Do You Love Elon Enough to Put Your Finger in the Cybertrunk?

Elon Musk Laid Off Supercharger Team After Taking $17 Million in Federal Charging Grants

If I ever see one of these things charging in public I am pulling my ICE car up to it, and throwing some garbage into it. When the guy complains I am going to look confused and say I thought it was a dumpster and apologize a whole lot. I am probably going to be shot at when I do it, but I figure the guy's gun is probably a wonky performance piece also, and I doubt he is a good shot, so I am going to have to really try hard to keep from laughing and ruining the act.

Nantucket Is Already Sick Of Its New Tesla Cybertruck Owner

The Amphibious TVR Scamander Is Everything The Cybertruck Wishes It Was

except it is an ICE vehicle. The purpose for going to the cybertruck was it is a EV. We all knew you could build your own ICE truck that would go offroad.

He did it again.

Cybertruck Owner Breaks His Finger Trying to Show Vehicle Is Safe

This seems like a design flaw:

mental note to self, never let my mom get one of these things. the woman has caught 2 cats in an automatic garage door, and one time I was loading the back of her SUV with an automatic rear hatch and she kept on closing it on me which made it look like the car was eating me. I had to be saved by some passer by who distracted her by knocking on the window while I escaped.

Tesla Has a Looming Deadline to Explain Its Autopilot Recall

Tesla Under Another Federal Investigation for Fraud Related to Self-Driving Claims

This pretty much covers it at the moment.



Thank you lewis black.

New Cybertruck Owner Learns the Hard Way That Coolant Leaks Aren't Covered by Warranty

Captain, we've got a warp core breach IN PROGRESS!

It seems to me like it's working exactly as intended. Which tells you something about the mentalities at the company.

I was wondering something. For the idiot who broke his finger in the cybertruck automatic trunk. Did people put him in a group home with professionals watching him where he belongs? Surely we took the man's license to operate a motor vehicle away, and removed the cybertruck from his possession. We did not leave him with a large and fast moving stainless steel projectile under his control, did we? The authorities were shown this video and they have placed him someplace where he cannot harm himself or others because he is too mentally handicapped to be allowed to be allowed to live on his own without supervision.

If not, why have we not done this as a society yet?

So, if you put things into the frunk they get all wet when it rains because the water will just flow right into that space and sit there? If you wash your car and do not clean all the crap out of the frunk then all your shit becomes sudsy and full of car washing chemicals and whatever else the components have leaking from them?

I am sure none of this i s a problem to the tech bro cult. It is the genius of Elon musk to totally avoid any learning from the past because car designers of the past were all just stupid heads and elon is the very stable genius god of brocoin and electric cars.

Come for the Wankpanzer rant, stay for the Baldwin shade!

How to confirm you’re an asshole without saying a word:

Hundreds of Anti-Tesla Protesters Storm Gigafactory in Germany

Guy Who Nearly Lost A Finger In Tesla Cybertruck’s Frunk Gives His Toes A Try

Indians who pre-ordered Teslas in 2016 are giving up and chasing refunds