Ah, Florida and Wal Mart

Discussion in 'The Red Room' started by Chuck, Oct 15, 2014.

  1. Chuck

    Chuck Go Giants!

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    Floridian, 19, Arrested For Lewd Act With Stuffed Animal Inside Walmart Store

    A Florida man today took a stuffed animal off a Walmart shelf and then used the toy to masturbate before returning the ejaculate-covered item to a store shelf, according to a police report.

    The repulsive episode occurred around 3 PM at a Walmart in Brooksville, a city 50 miles north of Tampa.

    According to cops, Sean Johnson, 19, walked to the store’s bedding department with a stuffed toy horse and proceeded to pleasure himself--a lewd act that was captured by surveillance cameras.

    Johnson, seen in the adjacent mug shot, was then spotted returning the stuffed animal to a Walmart shelf.


    While Johnson fled the store before he could be apprehended by Walmart security, he was subsequently arrested by Brooksville Police Department officers.

    Johnson--who reportedly confessed to police--was charged with indecent exposure and criminal mischief and booked into the Hernando County jail. He was released from custody at 9:45 tonight after posting $1500 bond.

    The Walmart merchandise that came into contact with the reshelved stuffed animal was deemed contaminated and not suitable for sale.
    [​IMG]
  2. We Are Borg

    We Are Borg Republican Democrat

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    Everyone's got to have a hobby. :shrug:
  3. Lt. Mewa

    Lt. Mewa Rockefeller Center

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    Diacanu??? :soma:
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  4. ed629

    ed629 Morally Inept Banned

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    Well, no shit.
  5. Dinner

    Dinner 2012 & 2014 Master Prognosticator

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    Just another day at Wally World.
  6. oldfella1962

    oldfella1962 the only real finish line

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    Well his High School yearbook did say he was the most likely to take a stuffed animal off a Walmart shelf and then use the toy to masturbate before returning the ejaculate-covered item to a store shelf.
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  7. ed629

    ed629 Morally Inept Banned

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    Fucking bronies.....
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  8. Dr. Krieg

    Dr. Krieg Stay at Home Astronaut. Administrator Overlord

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    Florida, baby! :lol:
  9. Dinner

    Dinner 2012 & 2014 Master Prognosticator

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    He looks like the sort of lonely guy who would be into stuffed animals and jerking off at Walmart.
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  10. The Flashlight

    The Flashlight Contributes nothing worthwhile Cunt Git

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  11. Larry

    Larry 18 wheels a rolling!! Deceased Member Moderator

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    Here in Ohio, the cops just shoot you at Walmart.
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  12. Steal Your Face

    Steal Your Face Anti-Federalist

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  13. Chuck

    Chuck Go Giants!

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    Police Release Photo Of Victim Humped, Defiled By Notorious Walmart Masturbator

    [​IMG]

    Florida cops have released an image of the glassy-eyed victim of the notorious Walmart masturbator.

    As seen in the above evidence photo, the brown, tan, and red stuffed horse was allegedly used Tuesday by Sean Johnson, 19, as he pleasured himself inside the store in Brooksville.

    After splattering the “stuffed horse’s chest area” with ejaculate, Johnson placed it “on top of a bed in a bag (comforter set).” The toy, price tag in place, was later placed on Walmart’s floor, where it was photographed by a cop.

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  14. Dr. Krieg

    Dr. Krieg Stay at Home Astronaut. Administrator Overlord

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  15. Amaris

    Amaris Guest

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    This is why I wash plates, glasses, towels, and such after I buy them in the store, because gods only knows what has happened to them before I saw them.
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  16. Ramen

    Ramen Banned

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    Yup. Next time its going to be a 12 year old at the nearby junior high school.
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  17. garamet

    garamet "The whole world is watching."

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    Meanwhile, in Alabama:

    Paramedics and an EOD expert put their lives on the line for this genius... :jayzus:
  18. Larry

    Larry 18 wheels a rolling!! Deceased Member Moderator

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    That horse will be in the bargain bin next week. :rotfl:
  19. El Chup

    El Chup Fuck Trump Deceased Member Git

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    But, but, but.....it had a John De Lancie soundchip!
  20. El Chup

    El Chup Fuck Trump Deceased Member Git

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    You absolute wanker. I'm never going to be able to eat off another of my dinner plates again.
  21. gul

    gul Revolting Beer Drinker Administrator Formerly Important

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    Wait, are you saying there's a risk people are entering your flat to masturbate on your china?
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  22. mburtonk

    mburtonk mburtonkulous

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    Are you saying there's not?
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  23. El Chup

    El Chup Fuck Trump Deceased Member Git

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    You haven't seen the kind of people I hang around with....
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  24. Lanzman

    Lanzman Vast, Cool and Unsympathetic Formerly Important

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    And now I'm pretty sure I don't want to. :yuck:
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  25. The Original Faceman

    The Original Faceman Lasagna Artist

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    Chavs. :no:
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