Carson Tower: Homosexual Space Nazi

Part I

Stardate 1269.2

Captain Tower strolled the bridge of his fine, awesomely overpowered ship, the Enterprise. He smiled, knowing decks below him, were the throbbing shafts of torpedo launchers, dripping with radiation and smelling of sweet, sweet, annihilation.

Tower rounded the bridge, observing his crew of tight chested male officers, smiling at him knowingly as he passed.

"Marsden, anything on sensors?"

"Yes, sir," cooed Marsden.

"Go on."

"Sir, there's a Klingon transport ship heading toward the planet Ursa."

"Klingons." Spat Tower. "There could be any type of villainous scum on there. Move to intercept."

"Yes, sir."

Tower stroked his prosthetic arm, lovingly, wondering which weapon he would get to employ. Why wait, he thought.

"Arm all torpedoes and phasers. Let's ram some long hard Enterpirse steel down their throats!" he cried.

Tower's eyes bulged. He turned his head, as if to address no one in particular. Suddenly, eye contact with his fellow crew seemed painful. His arms started flapping, slightly, and he had an urge to bang his head against a bulkhead. He swayed, gently, thinking of the coming massacre.

"Sir," said Goldstein, Tower's old, crusty, yet sexually appealing first officer. "The Klingons have dropped out of warp. They are hailing."

"On screen," said Tower, a bit too high pitched.

"We are a humanitarian transport. What is the meaning of this?" said the face on the screen, the features Tower couldn't really make out as he feared looking at the Klingon captain's eyes. Tower knew the Klingon was brown and that was about all he needed to know.

"You're transporting Klingons to the planet Ursa. Your ship will be searched and your passenger manifests inspected.”

"We are unarmed!"

"Sure you are," replied Tower. "I'm beaming over and we'll sort you out good, boy."

Tower gestured for his crew to follow him to the transporter room. He picked up his trusted ancient space weapon, admiring its phallic shaped tip. He had acquired it long ago, from a man he knew well. Very well.

Tower throbbed with anticipation of the upcoming confrontation between his crew and some brown Klingons he knew very little about. He adjusted his pants to hide the fire in his loins, and turned to his trusted crew.

"Well, let's do this. Energize." This is going to be so cool, he thought.

To be continued….

You are going to be in so much trouble. But the above was light years better than this steaming pile.

WTF?

If only John Castle could write half as well.

It was easy. I just put down the crack. And began typing.

Your easy familiarity with homosexual fanfic is interesting.

It's a defining character trait of Carson Tower. I can't deviate from the canon material.

You can tell when I've obviously gotten under @Dayton3's skin when he has his mini meltdowns on here. For someone who cries to the moderators over the use of emoticons, he certainly has no problem using them. Since he considers then insults, one can safely say he had resorted to insulting first once again. I certainly he gets help for his autism soon, it obviously causes him a great deal of stress and emotional outbursts.

How long before Dayton sees this and has a meltdown?

He's already started to have one. He's already gone and marked several of my posts TL;DR, in here and in his thread about how much people pray. Soon he'll start with insults and then with demands that the moderators and administrators to cater to his current emotional state.

Part 2 will involve an erotic transporter sequence with Tower and Goldstein, the last Jew in space. It may involve subtle social commentary on women in the military though I may save that for part 3.

Is there a backstory to what happened to the twelve tribes?

history isn't that important to tower

I assume that the moderators will permanently ban Faceman now.

Captain Tower is not a homosexual or a Nazi. An Andorian office once insulted his fear of women on a Starfleet communication so Tower tracked down the officer and showed up at his quarters on Deep Space Four six and half years later where he phaser blasted him until he was dead. There were some Admirals who wanted to remove Tower from his command but Tower successfully destroyed seventeed Borg cubes on the way to the hearing so they let him off with a warning and ordered the carpet bombing of the rest of Andoria as a reward.

That has always been his problem.

Part II

The transporter energized. Tower gazed at Commander Goldstein, the last Jew in space. Goldstein wasn't always the last Jew in space. There used to be more until the incident. Tower liked Goldstein and not because he was a Jew. Tower didn't really care for Jews, to be honest. But he liked Goldstein and what he stood for. He stood for proof that Tower really did like Jews. Obviously why else would Tower have the last Jew in space on his ship?

But Tower also liked Goldstein for his masculinity. He was the epitome of being a man, aside from the Jewishness. Goldstein was in his late 70s, not autistic, and had fair skin. He spoke slowly for Tower, much like Tower's father had when he was just a boy, growing up on a pig refinery on Rigel VIII. In fact, Tower saw a lot of his father in that old Jew.

Goldstein…thought Tower as the transporter took him apart and put him back together, much like Tower would like to do to a guinea pig or African child…Goldstein is nice, thought Tower. Goldstein talks sweetly to me and is always there to lend a helping hand. He is firm with me when I get too wild and always tells me the right thing to do. At night, when I can't sleep, Goldstein will be there for me. In my room. He's like the father I never had who was also Jewish.

The transporter beam ceased and Tower found himself on the Klingon transport. Tower approached the transporter chief, a Klingon, and took off his glasses. Glasses are a sign of weakness, thought Tower, but I'll show them.

"Where is your passenger manifest, weakling!" bellowed Tower at the tall Klingon.

"What is the meaning of this intrusion!" a voice shouted from the doorway. A tall Klingon woman walked in, flanked by two other female officers. "This is a peaceful ship. The Federation has no business here."

"I am not the Federation!" shouted Tower, seeming upset that he was being challenged. "I can do what I want."

"No, you can't! You can't come on to my vessel without permission or cause!"

"Yes, I can! Yes, I can!" shouted Tower, as he began to shake violently. He could no longer look at the women. Being in the same room with them made him uncomfortable. Being told "no" was even worse. He looked away, flapping his hands slightly. "I want the manifest! Take it from them, Goldstein."

"OK, Captain," said Goldstein. He was the last Jew in space. He had no choice but to obey.

Goldstein and Commander Stafford, the unofficial greeter from Enterprise, took aim the flanking Klingons and fired their phasers, killing them. Their purple blood pooled on the deck. Tower calmed.

"See you in hell," smirked Stafford. Goldstein winced.

Stafford, thought Tower, you are something special to look at when you kill people. Tower approached the last Klingon.

"You'll give me the manifest or I'll cut it out of you!"

"What do you mean, cut it out of me?" asked the Klingon, thinking her question made sense to Captain Carson Tower of the USS Enterprise. Alas, she was wrong. Tower's prosthetic arm morphed into a cool ax blade which he used to sever the Klingon's head.

Laughing, Towers turned to his crew. "That'll teach her. Let's get that manifest now."

You'll never make it in Hollywood with that attitude.

I like your sequel better. Goldstein does more schvitzing.

https://forums.sufficientvelocity.com/threads/fleet-admiral-carson-tower.6266/

That thread is obviously fake - it has a female character engaging in combat, which we all know Dayton hates the idea of.

Plus, y'know... not enough mansex.

This thread made my day.




Sent from my iPhone while driving

Agreed!

I'd certainly like to read more about Carson Tower.

He seems very familiar, somehow.

I have to admit that sentence is the closest I've come to being "NotDaytoned" in a very long time.

What tipped me off was ed "agreeing" with the post, which caused me to take a second look because he never does that with an ActualDayton post.

When comes the entry about a space battle near DS9?

Also, I'm hoping there's a scene where they take the Trill out of Jadzia Dax and put it into a guy, who immediately turns around and fucks Jadzia. It would give all new meaning to the phrase, "go fuck yourself!"

No reason. Even good writing gets parodied and I'll openly admit that my writing is far from good. I just do it because I enjoy it.

Part III

As Tower strolled down the hallway of the transport ship, he thought back on his many encounters with Klingons. Back home, on Rigel VIII, his cousin had once told Tower that Tower was quite good with Klingons. Tower took that as a compliment. Not many Klingons lived on Rigel VIII in part due to the history of persecution that Klingons had faced in the years before Tower's birth.

Tower remembered the time he had taken a poor Klingon boy under his wing, given him ice cream and a balloon, and had helped him man up a bit. The Klingon looked up to Tower thanks to the attention he received. Tower would hold the Klingon when he was sad, when he was happy, or when he was lonely. Especially when he was lonely.

Lots of people who were related to Tower would agree that he showed that young Klingon boy more love and attention than one would expect. Tower beamed with pride when thinking about that boy and the things he would do to him. On the playing field. Under the bleachers. In the shower room.

He would do those same things on this transport ship, he thought.

Goldstein had sent the manifest to the enterprise's computers for analysis. Deep analysis, thought Tower, would feel great right now.

"Captain," cooed Marsden, his Aryan masculinity shining though the darkness of the Klingon ship. "Berth seven alpha is housing a Klingon defense soldier. She's a spy!"

"Take me to her," cried Tower. The computer had correctly identified the intelligence officer. Maqap had spent time on the Klingon embassy on Cardasia before the war. What was she doing in federation space?

"Visiting my daughter on Ursa," croaked Maqap as a Tower choked her with his prosthetic arm.

"Likely story. You’re a female in he Kingon military. A barbaric organization that forces their women to fight for them," he spat.

"Serving the empire is voluntary and a great honor you p'taq."

"You belong in a kitchen. Pregnant. Foolish Klingon. I will show you where a woman belongs."

With that, Tower crushed her neck and threw her to the deck. He smiled with glee. A Klingon spy. A woman. Dead.

"If there's one spy here there could be more," Tower said to Goldstein.

"No that's the only one," the last Jew in space replied.

"How can you be sure? Let's return to enterprise and torpedo this rust bucket out the sky."

Goddamn, but this is funny!