Today in "Not The Onion"

Discussion in 'The Red Room' started by Liet, Nov 9, 2014.

  1. garamet

    garamet "The whole world is watching."

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    Psst, those are the voices in your head.

    [​IMG]
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  2. evenflow

    evenflow Lofty Administrator

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    I don't know what that had to do with 96, but yes I do think her excusing, enabling and complicit support of Bill's treatment of women speaks to a Machiavellian attitude towards people.

    She could have divorced him, even before he ran for president, and made her way on her own. I'd certainly have respected her more, but if she had we'd never know who she was, you and I both know it. Instead, she kept punching that meal ticket like a like a girl that went to college to get a "Mrs" degree.
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  3. Liet

    Liet Dr. of Horribleness, Ph.D.

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    If you want to do impressions I think Admiral Stockdale is more your speed.
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  4. garamet

    garamet "The whole world is watching."

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    You've forgotten what his swinging dick cost Gary Hart, huh?

    You have incontrovertible proof that she was aware of his antics at the time, of course.

    Also, for the record, I'm not a Hillary supporter. I expect you to remember that for the next two years.

    I'm just, as always, amused by the criteria for women candidates as opposed to men.
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  5. gturner

    gturner Banned

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    Ross Perot's voice is inside all our heads. It's something that we can't unhear.

    If you can't stand a little sacrifice and you can't stand a trip across the desert with limited water, we're never going to straighten this country out.
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  6. garamet

    garamet "The whole world is watching."

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    Odd, but I watched those debates, too. I must be impervious to contentless platitudes.
  7. gturner

    gturner Banned

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    I could do Admiral Stockdale as stand up, but to imitate him in text would just look like someone was fumbling with their iPhone.
  8. evenflow

    evenflow Lofty Administrator

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    You "expect me to remember that"? Or what? :lol:

    What double standard? Men fucking around and women can't? Or people getting where they are because of family connections? I said the other day, even my beloved Rand is only a senator because of his dad, but at least he had another life and career before pursuing office.
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  9. gturner

    gturner Banned

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    The Onion used to have some great Perot spoofs. One was about how we must stop mad cow disease, and involved the horrible danger that Mexicans would bite the mad cows and then we'd be up to our eyeballs in crazy Mexicans.
  10. Zombie

    Zombie dead and loving it

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    And look what Perot did. Crash out of the presidential race.....
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  11. garamet

    garamet "The whole world is watching."

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    Or you'll look as stupid as the Usual Suspects who like to tell me what I'm thinking, who I voted for, and what I had for breakfast.

    Not that you've ever been guilty of that. :flow:
  12. gul

    gul Revolting Beer Drinker Administrator Formerly Important

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    I thought he was doing an Admiral Stockdale impression.
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  13. Diacanu

    Diacanu Comicmike. Writer

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    *Squints hard, head makes magnetic humming sounds*

    Flintstone porn, Nader, gluten-free oatmeal, and a Tic-Tac.
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  14. evenflow

    evenflow Lofty Administrator

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    "I'm just, as always, amused by the criteria for women candidates as opposed to men."

    Criteria for what?
  15. mburtonk

    mburtonk mburtonkulous

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    Get the highest third-party percentage of the vote, ever?
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  16. gturner

    gturner Banned

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    I don't think he did, getting 18.9%. The 1912 election went Wilson, 41.8%, T Roosevelt (Progressive) 27.4%, Taft (R) 23.2%, and Debs (socialist) 6%.
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  17. Dinner

    Dinner 2012 & 2014 Master Prognosticator

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    I think Perot got 21% and that was the most in a very long time for a third party.
  18. tafkats

    tafkats scream not working because space make deaf Moderator

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    The best anyone has done in the current party system, certainly, or even the last two (depending on whether or not you consider the 60s to mark a shift from one party system to another).
  19. Diacanu

    Diacanu Comicmike. Writer

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    And that's rebuilding from the hit he took dropping out, and getting back in.
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  20. Liet

    Liet Dr. of Horribleness, Ph.D.

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    Today's not The Onion entry:

    Christian ‘branding agency’ seeks $1 million for ‘McMass’ project to put McDonald’s in churches

    [​IMG]

    A design firm committed to using “cutting edge communication technology to empower the 21st century church” started a new project, “McMass,” in which it aims to reinvigorate the flock by opening McDonald’s franchises in churches.

    Lux Dei Design, “a church branding agency,” is attempting to confront what it calls the “vacant church problem” — the fact that in addition to declining attendance for services, many churches are empty and entirely unused on days on which there are no services.

    “We realized,” they wrote in a statement on the McMass website, “that a design approach — an entrepreneurial approach — had the potential to revolutionize how churches engage with the world. We want to see churches return to the center of everyday life, and the way to engage with our modern culture is through innovation.”

    “Churches are community centers, but need to attract people and support themselves financially,” and “McDonald’s are profitable, and draw constant crowds, but need great, centrally-located spaces,” so together, Lux Dei Design contends, “a McDonald’s Church will support itself and become increasingly active in its community.”
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    :jayzus:
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  21. mburtonk

    mburtonk mburtonkulous

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    Not the partner I would pick, but kudos for community building.
  22. Liet

    Liet Dr. of Horribleness, Ph.D.

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    Not The Onion:

    Gohmert Announces Run for Speaker of the House


    The universe is far too ridiculous a place to be fictional. Let us just hope that it's a ridiculous enough place to make this happen! No one better represents the current heart and soul of the Republican party than Representative Gohmert. If our House of Representatives is destined to be completely non-functional and get nothing done, at least let it be as entertaining as possible.
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  23. oldfella1962

    oldfella1962 the only real finish line

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    Word around the campfire is Huckabee might be running this time around. He's got my vote.
  24. Dinner

    Dinner 2012 & 2014 Master Prognosticator

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    At least the churches know they're looking for fat, stupid, poor people. I can give them that. They know their target demographic.
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  25. Liet

    Liet Dr. of Horribleness, Ph.D.

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    Judith Miller And James O'Keefe Discuss Ethics In Journalism

    Ex-New York Times reporter Judith Miller and rightwing guerilla filmmaker James O'Keefe filmed an hour-long discussion trying to answer the question that has persisted through their careers: "Why do they hate us?"
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    :facepalm:

    An hour-long gturner soliloquy on the merits of gturner would be less ridiculous.
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  26. Liet

    Liet Dr. of Horribleness, Ph.D.

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    • Winner Winner x 1
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  27. garamet

    garamet "The whole world is watching."

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    The sun may not have exploded; however:

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  28. Liet

    Liet Dr. of Horribleness, Ph.D.

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  29. garamet

    garamet "The whole world is watching."

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  30. Dinner

    Dinner 2012 & 2014 Master Prognosticator

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    Oh, they are using that as a racial code word again?